Love & Anger part 2

Now this topic is related to how we pass on a "bad report." OK let me define "bad report" - a bad report is a message that may or may not need to be passed on, but is frequently passed on so it looks like either appropriate information or gossip. It might sound like this: "We need to pray for 'SUZY' because she's falling away," and then this maybe followed by some description of how she's falling away.

When passing on a "bad report" in light of a church community or a fellowship group -it is frequently given some sort of sugar-coating - I guess the media or politicos might call this "SPIN". It's given a SPIN that makes everything look good up-front, but there is another story that is behind the scenes that only a few know about. Part of the 'game' becomes trying to find out the "real" story. This brings a kind of sickness & brokenness that stinks to the listener as well as the speaker.

I know these issues are difficult and we want to protect individual's feelings and help all understand that there is some information that does not / should not be disclosed. I think one thing that bugs me is - well the information really is being disclosed but just in a small elite circle.

So what can be done to give an appropriate spin (and honest and with integrity) to passing on a bad report?

1) To have the 2 opposing parties talk to a 3rd party. To get the issues and feelings out. In that discussion, there should be an openness to share what needs to be disclosed to the public and to individuals and everything else should be prayed about and discarded. This meeting can be as a whole group or in 3 or 4 parts.

2) There would not need to be a false sense of 'support', rather there is no need to make it look like this "bad report" is just another level of spirituality. If there is animosity between 2 brothers or sisters; or if there is a moral collapse; or if there is a theological disagreement then say as much as briefly and candidly as possible.

3) After the presentation is given then it becomes an issue of supporting this brother or sister to the highest level possible (the keyword is possible). In reference to Christian community, Bonhoeffer urges us to not ignore the sinning brother when he says "...Is not the sinning brother, still a brother?" As well, a mentor once said to me: "Make sure you always stand with people who stand for God - even in the midst of their brokenness and sin, that's when they will need you most."

4) It seems to me the issue is really related to the difference between "How We look, externally" or how we live, internally." Am I the 'white-washed tombs' that Jesus condemns or am I truly His from the inside-out?

5) Do not pass on a bad report to a 3rd party. Instead go directly to the offended source. In fact try to get the 2 parties together.

6) Working with sinful people is always messy. And as far as I can tell we are all sinful.