The Perscription for a Perfect Men's Weekend...

1) A group of guys with a large affinity.
2) A great location.
3) Several sedentary activities: newspapers, books, Wii, PS3, iPOD, Karaoke, guitars, piano, lots of good couches & cushy chairs, a big deck outside, lots of beds (Rule # 1 of Men's retreats - One Man, One Bed), etc
4) Lots of good food: BBQ, Apple Pie, Chips & Salsa, Eggs & Bacon, Grits, Ham & Turkey, variety of good beverages
5) Several active activities: Basketball, Swimming Pool, Tennis Courts,
6) A fine dining establishment - for more good food & a chance to get out of the house at least once during the weekend.
7) opportunities for worship and Bible study
8) A set of questions to encourage honest, authentic deep sharing:

In an effort to help us share, and to stir some things up that can be followed up in free time, please answer the following questions. I encourage you to type/write answers and bring copies for everyone. Preparation will help you streamline your own thoughts, but also allow sharing to move forward without rambling. It will also allow us to make some notes, and give us good threads to follow up with you during free time.

What are any significant events that have happened over the last year/since our time together?

What is one Epiphany that you have had over the last year?

Who are you sharing your life with? Who are you mentoring? Who are you allowing into your life?

What have you been reading?

What is on your iPod that you should share? (New Music, good Podcasts, etc)

What have you been watching (Movies, but perhaps TV)?

What are your new hobbies/Fun activities?

How do the brothers need to hold you accountable/encourage you?

What is going on in job and what are you excited about in your job?

Where will your job/career be in 5-10 years from now?

What has been the most fun you have had this last year (or Highlight of your year) and why?

The above are the ones I would like us all to answer. However, you are free to share what you think is important. To get you thinking, here are some “stir the pot” questions

Overall/Spiritual
What has God been teaching you?
What have been the significant events in your family of origin, marriage, children, church, job, friendships?
What have you been confessing lately?

Spouse and Family
What has been the biggest joy/improvement in your marriage?
How have you not loved your spouse?
What have been the biggest struggles in your Marriage?
What has been your biggest struggle as a parent?
What have you enjoyed seeing in your children? What has scared you/Sent you to your knees?

Church
Describe your current church involvements and situation
What have been your disappointments? What have been your biggest encouragements?
What is your vision for your church, and your involvement in it?

Job
Brief update and overview
What do you hate about your job?

Personal
Who are your key relationships in your community/church?
What have you done to challenge yourself lately?
What has become more important than sex for you?
What are your new hobbies/Fun activities?

My 54 Years in 54 Sentences or so...

1954 - Sports Illustrated magazine is first published. Earl & Esther Purks give birth to a son, me in Washington, DC.

1955 - The phrase "In God We Trust" is added to all US Currency. I learn to crawl following "Skippy" the bird.

1956 - Don Larsen pitches a perfect game in the World Series. I "steal" my dad's bank book from his shirt pocket every night. 

1957 - Schools in Little Rock, AR are integrated with the help of the US Army. I watch my Uncle count all the bricks in my house. 

1958 - Elvis Presley receives his draft notice. I runaway from my mom on 14th St in DC.

1959 - Alaska & Hawaii officially become states. I visit Ocean City, MD for the 1st time.

1960 - Elvis is discharged from Army. I runaway from my family in my neighborhood, My dad had the police looking for me.

1961 - Bob Dylan debuts. I make kids in my neighborhood sing my song: "Martin the Great"

1962 - The President of the United States acquired 1200 Cuban Cigars the day before the Cuban embargo. My Fam & I moved to Richmond, VA.

1963 - CS Lewis, Aldous Huxley & John F. Kennedy die on the same day. When the President was shot all the adults were quiet. I liked helping my dad work in his restaurant.

1964 - Beatles are first heard in the US. I like music - 45RPMs.

1965 - Martin Luther King Jr marches from Selma to Montgomery. Neighborhood boys (Randall, Randy, Carl & I) played sports every afternoon.

1966 - Indira Gandhi becomes Prime Minister of India. I enter J.R. Tucker School as a 7th Grader. 

1967 - Super Bowl I. I quit band and start playing football.

1968 - RFKennedy is slain in LA. MLKing is slain in Ga. I start to notice girls.

1969 - First man on the moon! I stay up all night to see it on TV.

1970- Redskins fall to 6-8, I end my tenure as a 'Skins fan FOREVER.

1971 - NPR's "All Things Considered" debuts. I am appointed Chaplain of Tucker HS FCA. I read the "Scroll" of the Lord's Prayer every week.

1972 - Watergate Scandal erupts. Tucker HS YL Club begins. I met Jesus Christ. Discipled by Doug Holladay.

1973 - Secretariat wins the Triple Crown. I met Carolyn Smith, after an unrequited 'crush' on her older sister.

1974 - The end of the UCLA basketball winning streak (88). I joined YL staff in Richmond, VA (Tucker HS). Discipled by Tuck Knupp.

1975 - "Jaws" is released in the summer. I am busy trying to squeeze 4 years into 5 of college education. I coach JV football at Tucker.

1976 - Apple Computer begins (Jobs & Wozniak). I graduated from VCU. I work as a Assistant Data Input Comptroller for Miller & Rhoads.

1977 - Seattle Slew wins the Triple Crown. My dad passes away peacefully. I manage a restaurant. Midlothian HS YL club began.

1978 - Affirmed wins the Triple Crown. Hopewell HS YL began. I marry Carolyn Smith

1979 - Margaret Thatcher becomes PM of England. Monacan YL club began. Discipled by Tim Keller.

1980 - The 1st personal computer is released. Meadowbrook HS YL club began. I was ordained for the ministry.

1981 - Walter Cronkite retires. We move to Heidelberg Germany! Skiing in Austria.

1982 - West Germany is in the World Cup finals (we were living there at the time!) Heidelberg HS YL club began. Skiing in Switzerland. I coach football & wrestling at Heidelberg HS.

1983 - "Beat it" by Michael Jackson hits #1. 100 Heidelberg kids to Greece. Swimming in the Aegean Sea.

1984- Winter Olympics in Sarajevo. Heidelberg MS WYLD Life club began. I play the "Old Course" & par "The Road Hole" Tripp Purks enters the world. Skiing in Sarajevo.

1985 - New Coke rises & falls in one year! Skiing in Italy. 75 Heidelberg Kids to Tunisia. We move to Williamsburg, VA.  I start college discipling and move away from HS evangelism.

1986 - Elie Wiesel wins the Nobel Peace Prize. Developing College leaders for the church of the future. Discipled by Mel Rosche

1987 - Ronald Reagan: "Mr Gorbachev, Tear Down That (Berlin) Wall!" Bobby Purks enters the world. "I work in the 4/40 window - 4 years of preparation for 40 years of ministry."

1988 - A series of evangelists resign from public ministry after confessing to sexual sin.  Josh McDowell speaks the Gospel to 900 at W&M. It is really hard in 1988 to stand with fallen men who stood for the Gospel. Discipled by Dick Woodward

1989 - The Berlin Wall is broken down. Barnabas-Paul-Timothy ministry. Ft. Lauderdale Evangelism Project with 25 W&M students.

1990 - East and West Germany are reunited. Habitat for Humanity Hurricane Hugo Relief, the 1st IVIS project.

1991 - Ukraine is independent of from the Soviet Union. Chuck Colson speaks the Gospel to 800 at W&M.

1992 - US Troops land in Somalia.  I start re-collecting sports cards.

1993 - Branch Davidian Compound invaded by ATF agents. The Coffeehouse opens in Williamsburg.

1994 - Rawandan Genocide.  

1995 - Rock and Roll Hall of Fame opens. I learn "Star Wars" & "Pokemon" card games. I start to spend time with the "'98 Fellas" 

1996 - Mother Teresa granted honorary citizenship in US. We took a Sabbatical to Europe.  I spent 3 weeks with C.S. Lewis' stepson. 

1997 - Princess Diana and Mother Theresa die. I begin a Fraternity & Sorority Ministry at W&M.

1998 - Cal "Ironman" Ripken breaks consecutive game record (2632) founded. Aroma's Opens on Prince George St. G+0=RSWG

1999 - Columbine Massacre kills 15. "Greek Impact" is born on the bus ride back from Indy Greek Conference.

2000 - AOL buys Time-Warner. The Daily Grind opens at Lodge 2 location. I begin to hang out with the " '03 Guys"

2001 - 9/11 @ WTC 1. "I agree with Sam" speaks the gospel to 700 W&M students.

2002 - VA & MD Snipers paralyzes travellers. My mom dies peacefully. 

2003 - Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrates on re-entry into the atmosphere. "Hurrication Isabel" closes Campus for 10 days! Campus Alpha Course on campus.

2004 - Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" is released. Pancake House Outreach is launched on campus.

2005 - Pope John Paul II dies. Learning to walk beside the brothers.

2006 - "Crash" wins best picture.  Learning Agape

2007 - VT massacre 32 killed. I spend the year learning about forgiveness

2008 - Earthquakes & Cyclones kill thoudsands in Asia. Learning to live & speak Gospel.

Authenticity

I know authenticity is the key word these days on people 'getting into church'. If it is not Authentic then this generation doesn't want anything to do with it!

So what does Authenticity mean, really? WIKI tells me that it refers to the courage to live one's life according to the needs of one's inner being rather than the demands of society, external factors or one's early conditioning.

In a faith community I think it means living life not by saying the right thing, but by telling the real circumstances, the real story. I might know what I "Should" do, but in my plodding along I practice a different thing.

What do I hear on campus?
" I don't go to church because I find the sermons and stories I hear are not Authentic."
"The church is full of hypocrites"
" How can I attend a church that talks about a loving God, but then openly rejects 10% of the population"
" I don't think anyone is capable of living authentically"
"Once you show me a community based on faith & authenticiy then I will pursue your community."

OK, then what is one to do? I feel living authentically is so hard in society. Perhaps I am open and honest with one group (to a certain respectful level, of course) but I can't maintain that level of honesty with everyone. Also, I am in a bit of a fishbowl as a Christian leader (well I really am). So I think that controls what I can share openly - I hope I am not just playing that game because I have been assimilated to believe it. If I practice a habit, that is unpopular in the conventional Christian community. I certainly would be open to share it with my core friends, (especially if they are prone to practice it with me), and I might even tell a broader audience. But would I "Shout it from the Housetops" or say it from the pulpit (fortunately, my ministry does not put me in the pulpit very often). Probably not! Does that limit my AUTHENTICITY? Well I hope not, but how can I tell?

In a recent conversation with a young man, we were talking about qualities of discipling, or disciplemaking. I asked what is the most memorable quality of your mentor. By the way, I said that the most memorable quality of my mentors has been their willingness to take me to the next level in Christ. This young man said that the thing that drew him into this mentoring relationship was the discipler's Authenticity! I said: "What do you mean?" His reply: "Growing up in a religious home, I saw all of the inconsistency of the message from the pulpit and the behavior at home! But this mentor, boldly told me his flaws! He shared that he was unloving to family & friends, broken in morals, prone to wander, but God was still real and changing him everyday."

Could he be that honest & authentic with everyone? Well I think not, but I don't know how far to throw the net. Who gets included in my circle of authenticity?

The Reading - 50 pp / day JUNE

june 1 Rules For Renegades
june 2 Rules For Renegades
june 3 Rules For Renegades
june 4 Rules For Renegades
june 5 Rules For Renegades
june 6 Once I was Lost
june 7 Once I was Lost
june 8 Once I was Lost
june 9 Once I was Lost
june 10 Getting Things Done
june 11 Getting Things Done
june 12 Getting Things Done
june 13 The Living Church
june 14 The Living Church
june 15 The Living Church
june 16 Point Man
june 17 Point Man
june 18 Point Man
june 19 Point Man
june 20 Point Man
june 21 The Living Church
june 22 The Living Church
june 23 Why You Do the Things You Do
june 24 Why You Do The Things You Do
june 25 Why You Do The Things You Do
june 26 Why You Do The Things You Do
june 27 Breaking The Discipleship Code
june 28 Breaking The Discipleship Code
june 29 Breaking The Discipleship Code
june 30 Breaking the Discipleship Code