Spiritual Life, Is it like my car?

I drive a Toyota Celica.

 I love it. 

I cannot go to a gas station or a shopping center parking lot without someone coming up to me and talking to me about "My Car." Stuff like - "I had one of those back in '99." Or "Wow, is that a Porsche?" (I'm not kidding!). or "That was my dream car in High School." or "Love the Toyota, man!" 

Externally, My car is a beauty! There are a couple dings, or places where paint is peeling. But those just give it character. It fact those are symbols of the battle that the car has been in.  But other than those character-building scars the car looks GREAT! And I know that because of all the people that affirm my identity for driving the car.  I feel 'cooler' when I drive my car!  

Now the Celica, has another persona. It is old. It has 210,000 miles. There are things that are not going well for the car. Actually some of the things could be repaired, but for a number of reasons I just let them go. Why? 

First, it runs OK without the repair. 

Second, the repairs are costly. 

Third, as compared to other cars on the road the Celica looks pretty good.

Fourth, no one will notice if I make the repair or not.

I have learned to work around the quirks in the car.  So at times when someone is in the car with me I feel like I need to explain the problems to my new passenger.  In reality, the passengers could probably care less, but because the car is so excellent on the outside I feel the need to justify what is going on internally. 

So what's so wrong? 

Well 1st, the transmission is going. It's an automatic. And it has lost the transitional gear. Roughly it has lost the ability to shift from 1st to 2nd to 3rd. So I have figured out a way to go directly from 1st to 3rd. I have adjusted my driving style so that I don't need to use 2nd gear!  In order to restore 2nd gear the transmission needs major surgery! The car is probably worth it, but I just do not have the money to do it.  

Next, the car takes a long time to start. It has to warm up before the engine will idle on its own. The best Toyota repair guy in town, can't trim the idle correctly.  When I asked him about it he said in his best broken english - "Your car is old, leave foot on gas pedal, $200 dollars.

Next, the sunroof is broken.  Not only does it not open, but after a big rain, it leaks a waterfall the 1st time I put on brakes.  Usually surprising me because I forget about it between rainstorms.  And surprising a passenger who sits in the wet seat. 

There are a number of other things and new problems are popping up everyday.  

So how does this relate to my spiritual life? Well I became a Christian in March 1972. It was a pretty radical transformation. I mean I went from going in one direction, very satisfied, to going in the complete opposite direction with several major improvements. I immediately stopped cussing & I began to have compassion for people that I previously didn't like. 

So I learned all the good things to do as a young believer. Read the Bible, pray, memorize scripture, church, disciple & be discipled, journal, etc.  And I was good! I advanced through the ranks of the Christian community and was deemed a Christian leader at a young age.  I was on committees, led Bible studies, led Young Life clubs, helped start a church, shared my faith with non-believers and did all the "right things."  So externally I looked like a Toyota Celica! People commented on my faith and my deeds done. And I felt "cool". 

Sure there were a few dings and rough edges, but those just added to my character. They were like battle scars. 

Internally, there were a few things that were not going well for my spiritual life. 

So as you  follow this analogy... There are things wrong on the inside that no one sees.  I run fine without the repairs.  Why don't I do the "soul work" necessary to be running well on the inside:

First, I  do OK without the repairs.

Second the repairs will be  costly.

Third as compared to other Christians I still look and act pretty good.

Fourth, I can live without anyone noticing if I make the repairs.

So what is wrong?

Well first I do well in the whole Bible reading Bible study area. It is a huge priority and I teach others how to do it, but my conversations with God are weak at best.  It's like trying to live spiritually without second gear. 

Secondly, I do well when I get started in the morning, but my "idle" has more to do with output than intake.  In other words my "soul time" is frequently more connected to the ministry than personal. So I read and study so that I have something to offer students. 

Thirdly, I leak, like the sunroof. I don't retain the spiritual nurture that I try to retain. It goes in one part of my life and goes out another without ever staying around long enough to make a difference.

I have made a repair plan this Christmas. I am going to do the costly repairs to begin to get my soul to be in good shape.  The Celica will have to wait.

 

LAC(K)

Oh so much to say...

I will start with the most recent. In a conversation just yesterday, I was talking to a senior at the college and a recent graduate. The graduate is hard at work and accomplishing great things. Let's talk about that (his life) for a minute.----

On campus, for all 4 years this fellow was an active part of ministry. He had much energy and much enthusiasm. He had a vision to reach the lost, but also was intent on building a significant community. He had a core small group that met for the entire time of college - in fact they still meet on occasions after graduation. He was always involved in ministry leadership and made a key impact on the programs he was involved with. He invited friends to be with him - to learn more about following Christ. He was intentional and generous in time and resources.

Since graduation, he has continued to be involved in ministry. He is involved in the local church, assists with a youth group, occasionally meets with the pastor. He continues to connect with his core community from college. He has developed new communities - a couple new roommates, new church friends and people from work. He is active in community sports - as a way to recreate as well as to be involved in the world (building relationships for the Gospel).

Yet there is a difference in his, I can't think of the right word or concept here, focus, maybe, satisfaction - hmm! I'm at a loss... At any rate he is not as satisfied in his efforts at spiritual growth as he was in college. Things happened so much faster in college and the buzz surrounding an activity generated so fast on campus. Also, the pool was smaller - the focus was on the 1 sq. mile that is W&M. Now, in the marketplace, he deals with an area about 50 sq. miles. Also rather than an age span of 18-25 years old he now deals with a spread of 23-50 years old.  It's not that the ministry he is doing is any less significant, but it seems like a whole lot harder to detect growth or movement. 

As for the senior, he is at the other end of the ministry spectrum.  On campus much of the significant work revolves around his community.  Every day he is in significant discussions/ Bible studies on the things of God.  He has the disposable time and the core relationships to facilitate this discussion.  But his apprehensions are related to what is the next step in his life.  Is it the ministry, the marketplace, the mission field or more education? And how will he grow spiritually when he makes this transition? The easy answer is whatever the destination the Lord in His faithfulness will take him on a much different path.  It could be harder or easier. But there is no place in God's kingdom for encores.  This time, in college is used as preparation for whatever the next step is. 

I have thoughts about how the Church is not ready for the onslaught of new graduates - yet the new graduates are ready and energetic enough to take on the church. I'll reserve these thoughts for a later post.

So what did I offer these 2 men, Ugh, I think I failed miserably in my advice, although I think I listened well.  What would I say if I could recapture the moment?

1) Go to the place where you can grow in dependence on God the most.

2) Read the Word, every day.  It is a lost discipline.

3) Be intentional about relationships - old friends as well as new ones.

4) Find a Barnabas, find a Timothy.

5) Pray without ceasing.

-504

WOW, what a day!

Several large money centers collapsed or almost. The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped 4.4%. The lowest point since everyone sold their stocks on 9/11/01 & 9/12/01. Things & institutions that we relied on are disappearing.

I was in a conversation last night with someone who felt like this was the end. She wasn't reassured when I said - "Oh yea sooner to be with Jesus!"

So what is it? Is it the signs of the end? Well it could be. And I don't want to rule it out. I'm preparing... Asking forgiveness of those I've hurt, Confessing sin to God, speaking the Gospel to those who need to hear it, getting "Oil for my lamps", as it were!

But it could also be a huge "buying opportunity" - just kidding, kindof!

It could also be the radical reaction of many greedy people making too many stupid decisions. Also taking unjust advantages of those who really should not have been leveraging their lives & life savings for what seems like a little equity.

Golly Day! You & I both know that if you loan money to someone who does not have the long term capability to repay it - then you consider that a "gift". When you offer tons of people money for property (collateral) then you are putting your equity at risk! You might end up with a lot of property - which you won't be able to distribute. And no cash...

When we (not me, of course) as money-lenders take advantage of those who are trying to make it work, by charging huge interest rates, when they have limited resources to repay then our greed dominates our compassion and we end up with a lot of bad loans (gifts, as an example).

When we have re-acquired overvalued property that the main population does not want to purchase. Then we've hurt 2 people - the former possessors of the property who are over their heads in debt and those who now have the overvalued property they can't sell.

Greed dictates our lifestyle.

Wouldn't it be nice to revert to the old testament model of The Year of Jubilee? Every 49 years all debt is forgiven and all property goes back to the original owners. This really decreases the overall drive for greed & possession.

But what do we do now that we do not live in the year of Jubilee?

Pray for wisdom.
Look for opportunities to help people see Jesus.
Don't be stupid about money.
Pay off as much debt as you can.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind & strength!

I'm not an economist, or the son of a prophet, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn last night!

A Christian's Prayer

Blessed God,
Ten thousand snares are mine without and within, defend thou me;
When sloth and indolence seize me, give me views of heaven;
When sinners entice me, give me disrelish of their ways;
When sensual pleasures tempt me, purify and refine me;
When I desire worldly possessions, help me to be rich toward thee;
When the vanities of the world ensnare me, let me not plunge into new guilt and ruin;
May I remember the dignity of my spiritual release,
never be too busy to attend to my soul,
never be so engrossed with time that I neglect the things of eternity;
thus may I not only live but grow towards towards thee.
Form my mind to right notions of religion, that I may not judge of grace by wrong conceptions, nor measure my spiritual advances by the efforts of my natural being.
May I seek after an increase of divine love to thee,
after unreserved resignation to thy will,
after extreme benevolence to my fellow creatures,
after patience and fortitude of soul,
after a heavenly disposition,
after a concern that I may please thee in public and private.
Draw on my soul the linements of Christ, in every trace and feature of which thou wilt take delight, for I am -
thy workmanship, created in Christ Jesus,
thy letter written with the Holy Spirit's pen,
thy tilled soil ready for the sowing, then harvest.

From The Valley of Vision, p.109

New Creation...

I have been mulling over 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 this week. Well actually I am speaking on it tomorrow night at InterVarsity's Large Group.

So the first verse says: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he or she is a new creation. The old has gone, the new has come!" This was the first verse I committed to memory, using the Navigators Topical Memory System. And in that day, in my newness in Christ it meant so much! I could leave behind all of the junk of my life. I could be made NEW, a new creation as it were.

Those things that got me down could now be turned over to God - He was the one re-making me! So anger, fear, envy, jealousy, lust, pride - all of those old things that controlled me could be GONE. my life would be marked by the Newness that was part of God's kingdom! I would be a man of love, a man of prayer, a man of the Bible. I would preach the Gospel at all times and use words only when necessary. I would pet dogs, hold kittens (well maybe not that), help old ladies across the street, feed the hungry, care for the infirmed and on and on.

I was really looking forward to this new life. Now 36 years later, How am I doing? Oh yes, He has made me a new creation! There is nothing of old Marty (or was it Martin, back then) left. I think differently. I act differently. I am different. I am a child of the King. I know it everyday. There is nothing like it! And even if I were not "paid to be good", I would still be marked by Him, His grace, His love.

But I still carry around those old sins, those OLD traits that used to drag me down before He made me new. How can that be? I am still self-centered, still envious, still angry - like yesterday when my computer got a virus that crippled the OS! ##@$%%@@**)(##!

Well no easy answers on this one - but perhaps... Is this the way He knows that I will continue to be dependent on Him. If he completely made me NEW, I would be perfect or close to it and not have a need to come to Him regularly. But if I remain a NEW CREATION in a flawed state in order to continue to be made new I will have to continue to come to Him and rest In Him!

what is this tendancy to be Hush-Hush when someone becomes a Christian

Yes I don't get it!

It seems to me that one of the greatest celebrations that can be had is the entry of someone into the kingdom of God. Especially since for many of us - the subject has been the object of prayer for weeks, months, or even years. For some reason, it seems like we do not express this miracle very well.

We make it seem like it is no big deal - "Thanks for joining." or "You'll have to come back next week." In reality, it seems like this event is one that has all the angels in heaven rejoicing! Can you imagine that All of the angels in heaven rejoice (have a huge party) when just one sinner repents and enters into the Kingdom of God!.

I have even had some students tell me: There is a guy in 'Dupont' that has accepted Christ. I'll say: "That is great! Let's go talk to him and welcome him!" And their reply will be - "Well let's just wait until he tells you - we don't want him to feel awkward."

Awkward, are you kidding! This is the greatest moment of his life! 100 times more significant than his acceptance to W&M.

Let us make a commitment this year - When we hear about someone making a personal commitment to Christ or a return to acceptance of the Christian Faith that we honor him or her with a personal visit or conversation. We introduce him to our friends, our small group leaders, our IV staff, our pastors, and anyone else who would help us throw a party for this lost one who is now found.

This is Ministry!

I attended a Leadership conference recently - the Summit sponsored by Willow Creek Community Church and Bill Hybels. There was so much good stuff offered by the speakers, interviews and extra resources. I loved it and learned so much.

There was one talk by Hybels where he was giving us his AXIOMS (a new book he has published). You know AXIOMS; they are those pithy statements that communicate profound things in a few words.

One AXIOM was "This is Church!" And what it communicates around Willow is that when something is hard or shows a dose of reality - they will say "Well, this is Church." It has nothing to do with the meeting or the program or the building or the things that run right, but it has everything to do with going through the tunnel of chaos with those we rub shoulders with everyday. For instance, when there is a man in the church who serves faithfully, gives generously, provides for his family, is always available for whatever will benefit the fellowship goes through the tunnel of chaos (or as Dick Woodward says: "Going through the Wringer."). Perhaps he gets a bad report from the Doc, or loses his job, or some financial issue - and the people around the church meet him where he is at and bring to him the Grace of God. Hybels' folk say - "Well, this is Church." This communicates that life is hard, and often unexplainable, but when the people of God come around the needs of hurting people. - well, this is church! Does that make sense?

So I am starting to do some of this applying myself. I have seen and talked to a lot of people this summer: friends, family, InterVarsity staff, WM alumni, missionaries, new acquaintances, etc. There are a lot of people going through the wringer! There is a lot of hurt out there. And while this idea of CHURCH applies in the general sense - much of what I do is more itinerant, or independent - rather when I visit with someone, I don't necessarily represent a particular church. I am a pastor, but not of a particular congregation - I am a floater, as it were! So if I started saying "This is Church" people would ask me, "Where?" So I think a parallel that would work for me is "Well, this is ministry." As I walk through the Tunnel of Chaos with people I want to be able to look up to the Lord and say: "Well, this is ministry. Well, this is what the ministry is all about! Well, this is what you've called me to do."

The Perscription for a Perfect Men's Weekend...

1) A group of guys with a large affinity.
2) A great location.
3) Several sedentary activities: newspapers, books, Wii, PS3, iPOD, Karaoke, guitars, piano, lots of good couches & cushy chairs, a big deck outside, lots of beds (Rule # 1 of Men's retreats - One Man, One Bed), etc
4) Lots of good food: BBQ, Apple Pie, Chips & Salsa, Eggs & Bacon, Grits, Ham & Turkey, variety of good beverages
5) Several active activities: Basketball, Swimming Pool, Tennis Courts,
6) A fine dining establishment - for more good food & a chance to get out of the house at least once during the weekend.
7) opportunities for worship and Bible study
8) A set of questions to encourage honest, authentic deep sharing:

In an effort to help us share, and to stir some things up that can be followed up in free time, please answer the following questions. I encourage you to type/write answers and bring copies for everyone. Preparation will help you streamline your own thoughts, but also allow sharing to move forward without rambling. It will also allow us to make some notes, and give us good threads to follow up with you during free time.

What are any significant events that have happened over the last year/since our time together?

What is one Epiphany that you have had over the last year?

Who are you sharing your life with? Who are you mentoring? Who are you allowing into your life?

What have you been reading?

What is on your iPod that you should share? (New Music, good Podcasts, etc)

What have you been watching (Movies, but perhaps TV)?

What are your new hobbies/Fun activities?

How do the brothers need to hold you accountable/encourage you?

What is going on in job and what are you excited about in your job?

Where will your job/career be in 5-10 years from now?

What has been the most fun you have had this last year (or Highlight of your year) and why?

The above are the ones I would like us all to answer. However, you are free to share what you think is important. To get you thinking, here are some “stir the pot” questions

Overall/Spiritual
What has God been teaching you?
What have been the significant events in your family of origin, marriage, children, church, job, friendships?
What have you been confessing lately?

Spouse and Family
What has been the biggest joy/improvement in your marriage?
How have you not loved your spouse?
What have been the biggest struggles in your Marriage?
What has been your biggest struggle as a parent?
What have you enjoyed seeing in your children? What has scared you/Sent you to your knees?

Church
Describe your current church involvements and situation
What have been your disappointments? What have been your biggest encouragements?
What is your vision for your church, and your involvement in it?

Job
Brief update and overview
What do you hate about your job?

Personal
Who are your key relationships in your community/church?
What have you done to challenge yourself lately?
What has become more important than sex for you?
What are your new hobbies/Fun activities?

My 54 Years in 54 Sentences or so...

1954 - Sports Illustrated magazine is first published. Earl & Esther Purks give birth to a son, me in Washington, DC.

1955 - The phrase "In God We Trust" is added to all US Currency. I learn to crawl following "Skippy" the bird.

1956 - Don Larsen pitches a perfect game in the World Series. I "steal" my dad's bank book from his shirt pocket every night. 

1957 - Schools in Little Rock, AR are integrated with the help of the US Army. I watch my Uncle count all the bricks in my house. 

1958 - Elvis Presley receives his draft notice. I runaway from my mom on 14th St in DC.

1959 - Alaska & Hawaii officially become states. I visit Ocean City, MD for the 1st time.

1960 - Elvis is discharged from Army. I runaway from my family in my neighborhood, My dad had the police looking for me.

1961 - Bob Dylan debuts. I make kids in my neighborhood sing my song: "Martin the Great"

1962 - The President of the United States acquired 1200 Cuban Cigars the day before the Cuban embargo. My Fam & I moved to Richmond, VA.

1963 - CS Lewis, Aldous Huxley & John F. Kennedy die on the same day. When the President was shot all the adults were quiet. I liked helping my dad work in his restaurant.

1964 - Beatles are first heard in the US. I like music - 45RPMs.

1965 - Martin Luther King Jr marches from Selma to Montgomery. Neighborhood boys (Randall, Randy, Carl & I) played sports every afternoon.

1966 - Indira Gandhi becomes Prime Minister of India. I enter J.R. Tucker School as a 7th Grader. 

1967 - Super Bowl I. I quit band and start playing football.

1968 - RFKennedy is slain in LA. MLKing is slain in Ga. I start to notice girls.

1969 - First man on the moon! I stay up all night to see it on TV.

1970- Redskins fall to 6-8, I end my tenure as a 'Skins fan FOREVER.

1971 - NPR's "All Things Considered" debuts. I am appointed Chaplain of Tucker HS FCA. I read the "Scroll" of the Lord's Prayer every week.

1972 - Watergate Scandal erupts. Tucker HS YL Club begins. I met Jesus Christ. Discipled by Doug Holladay.

1973 - Secretariat wins the Triple Crown. I met Carolyn Smith, after an unrequited 'crush' on her older sister.

1974 - The end of the UCLA basketball winning streak (88). I joined YL staff in Richmond, VA (Tucker HS). Discipled by Tuck Knupp.

1975 - "Jaws" is released in the summer. I am busy trying to squeeze 4 years into 5 of college education. I coach JV football at Tucker.

1976 - Apple Computer begins (Jobs & Wozniak). I graduated from VCU. I work as a Assistant Data Input Comptroller for Miller & Rhoads.

1977 - Seattle Slew wins the Triple Crown. My dad passes away peacefully. I manage a restaurant. Midlothian HS YL club began.

1978 - Affirmed wins the Triple Crown. Hopewell HS YL began. I marry Carolyn Smith

1979 - Margaret Thatcher becomes PM of England. Monacan YL club began. Discipled by Tim Keller.

1980 - The 1st personal computer is released. Meadowbrook HS YL club began. I was ordained for the ministry.

1981 - Walter Cronkite retires. We move to Heidelberg Germany! Skiing in Austria.

1982 - West Germany is in the World Cup finals (we were living there at the time!) Heidelberg HS YL club began. Skiing in Switzerland. I coach football & wrestling at Heidelberg HS.

1983 - "Beat it" by Michael Jackson hits #1. 100 Heidelberg kids to Greece. Swimming in the Aegean Sea.

1984- Winter Olympics in Sarajevo. Heidelberg MS WYLD Life club began. I play the "Old Course" & par "The Road Hole" Tripp Purks enters the world. Skiing in Sarajevo.

1985 - New Coke rises & falls in one year! Skiing in Italy. 75 Heidelberg Kids to Tunisia. We move to Williamsburg, VA.  I start college discipling and move away from HS evangelism.

1986 - Elie Wiesel wins the Nobel Peace Prize. Developing College leaders for the church of the future. Discipled by Mel Rosche

1987 - Ronald Reagan: "Mr Gorbachev, Tear Down That (Berlin) Wall!" Bobby Purks enters the world. "I work in the 4/40 window - 4 years of preparation for 40 years of ministry."

1988 - A series of evangelists resign from public ministry after confessing to sexual sin.  Josh McDowell speaks the Gospel to 900 at W&M. It is really hard in 1988 to stand with fallen men who stood for the Gospel. Discipled by Dick Woodward

1989 - The Berlin Wall is broken down. Barnabas-Paul-Timothy ministry. Ft. Lauderdale Evangelism Project with 25 W&M students.

1990 - East and West Germany are reunited. Habitat for Humanity Hurricane Hugo Relief, the 1st IVIS project.

1991 - Ukraine is independent of from the Soviet Union. Chuck Colson speaks the Gospel to 800 at W&M.

1992 - US Troops land in Somalia.  I start re-collecting sports cards.

1993 - Branch Davidian Compound invaded by ATF agents. The Coffeehouse opens in Williamsburg.

1994 - Rawandan Genocide.  

1995 - Rock and Roll Hall of Fame opens. I learn "Star Wars" & "Pokemon" card games. I start to spend time with the "'98 Fellas" 

1996 - Mother Teresa granted honorary citizenship in US. We took a Sabbatical to Europe.  I spent 3 weeks with C.S. Lewis' stepson. 

1997 - Princess Diana and Mother Theresa die. I begin a Fraternity & Sorority Ministry at W&M.

1998 - Cal "Ironman" Ripken breaks consecutive game record (2632) founded. Aroma's Opens on Prince George St. G+0=RSWG

1999 - Columbine Massacre kills 15. "Greek Impact" is born on the bus ride back from Indy Greek Conference.

2000 - AOL buys Time-Warner. The Daily Grind opens at Lodge 2 location. I begin to hang out with the " '03 Guys"

2001 - 9/11 @ WTC 1. "I agree with Sam" speaks the gospel to 700 W&M students.

2002 - VA & MD Snipers paralyzes travellers. My mom dies peacefully. 

2003 - Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrates on re-entry into the atmosphere. "Hurrication Isabel" closes Campus for 10 days! Campus Alpha Course on campus.

2004 - Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" is released. Pancake House Outreach is launched on campus.

2005 - Pope John Paul II dies. Learning to walk beside the brothers.

2006 - "Crash" wins best picture.  Learning Agape

2007 - VT massacre 32 killed. I spend the year learning about forgiveness

2008 - Earthquakes & Cyclones kill thoudsands in Asia. Learning to live & speak Gospel.

Authenticity

I know authenticity is the key word these days on people 'getting into church'. If it is not Authentic then this generation doesn't want anything to do with it!

So what does Authenticity mean, really? WIKI tells me that it refers to the courage to live one's life according to the needs of one's inner being rather than the demands of society, external factors or one's early conditioning.

In a faith community I think it means living life not by saying the right thing, but by telling the real circumstances, the real story. I might know what I "Should" do, but in my plodding along I practice a different thing.

What do I hear on campus?
" I don't go to church because I find the sermons and stories I hear are not Authentic."
"The church is full of hypocrites"
" How can I attend a church that talks about a loving God, but then openly rejects 10% of the population"
" I don't think anyone is capable of living authentically"
"Once you show me a community based on faith & authenticiy then I will pursue your community."

OK, then what is one to do? I feel living authentically is so hard in society. Perhaps I am open and honest with one group (to a certain respectful level, of course) but I can't maintain that level of honesty with everyone. Also, I am in a bit of a fishbowl as a Christian leader (well I really am). So I think that controls what I can share openly - I hope I am not just playing that game because I have been assimilated to believe it. If I practice a habit, that is unpopular in the conventional Christian community. I certainly would be open to share it with my core friends, (especially if they are prone to practice it with me), and I might even tell a broader audience. But would I "Shout it from the Housetops" or say it from the pulpit (fortunately, my ministry does not put me in the pulpit very often). Probably not! Does that limit my AUTHENTICITY? Well I hope not, but how can I tell?

In a recent conversation with a young man, we were talking about qualities of discipling, or disciplemaking. I asked what is the most memorable quality of your mentor. By the way, I said that the most memorable quality of my mentors has been their willingness to take me to the next level in Christ. This young man said that the thing that drew him into this mentoring relationship was the discipler's Authenticity! I said: "What do you mean?" His reply: "Growing up in a religious home, I saw all of the inconsistency of the message from the pulpit and the behavior at home! But this mentor, boldly told me his flaws! He shared that he was unloving to family & friends, broken in morals, prone to wander, but God was still real and changing him everyday."

Could he be that honest & authentic with everyone? Well I think not, but I don't know how far to throw the net. Who gets included in my circle of authenticity?

The Reading - 50 pp / day JUNE

june 1 Rules For Renegades
june 2 Rules For Renegades
june 3 Rules For Renegades
june 4 Rules For Renegades
june 5 Rules For Renegades
june 6 Once I was Lost
june 7 Once I was Lost
june 8 Once I was Lost
june 9 Once I was Lost
june 10 Getting Things Done
june 11 Getting Things Done
june 12 Getting Things Done
june 13 The Living Church
june 14 The Living Church
june 15 The Living Church
june 16 Point Man
june 17 Point Man
june 18 Point Man
june 19 Point Man
june 20 Point Man
june 21 The Living Church
june 22 The Living Church
june 23 Why You Do the Things You Do
june 24 Why You Do The Things You Do
june 25 Why You Do The Things You Do
june 26 Why You Do The Things You Do
june 27 Breaking The Discipleship Code
june 28 Breaking The Discipleship Code
june 29 Breaking The Discipleship Code
june 30 Breaking the Discipleship Code

The Annual Let-down...

This is, of course, not much of a secret to anyone these days - who know me that is - but given my personality and the passion I have for my "job" I go through this period of well for lack of a better term a "let-down" for a time after I return from Summer Camp.

On all of the Myers-Briggs Temperament Analysis tests I rank at the top in the Extroverted category. That means I receive energy from being with people. It's not that I have to be the center of attention in a group. It's not even about being in a group, I just need to be with people.

So let's think about this for a moment... The majority of how I define my job is being with people. A lot of people who do what I do have other outlets. As well as meeting with students, some study, some write, some speak, but I prefer to meet with people one on one or in groups. The verbal processing that being with people helps me with the "study, prep & processing of information". So beginning in January after a great semester break I ease into the new semester. I first begin to work on leadership development of the 2 campus groups I serve - InterVarsity@W&M and Greek Impact. I plan retreats, meet with my leaders, meet new students, prepare for the 1st 2 talks of the year. And gradually ease into the year.

If I've had a good break then I've thought about goals and plans, I've developed a strategy for discipling and witness. So the new semester allows me the freedom to put the "vision" into action. So it begins...

I start meeting with students, a few at a time, then more and more. As the semester continues then there are more requests for a meeting or two. It is very hard for me to say "no" to requests like this.

After Spring Break several things begin to happen: Students show a greater need to grow and develop spiritually, or they may show more frustration or brokenness in life and/or spiritually. Also, people begin to plan for the future (including real world transition and marriage). So for instance in a typical week this year towards the last day of classes. I met with 15 students individually, 2 colleagues, 3 groups of 2 or more, 2 marriage counseling sessions, 3 leadership meetings, 2 planning meetings. Of the 15 students - 5 were leadership & vision oriented, 5 were basic discipleship, and 5 were seekers or very new believers. In the midst of this 'student-work' I also worked on A BBQ dinner for 250 and a Pancake House Outreach for 1200!

After the last day of classes, I try as hard as possible to meet with all the graduates I won't see for awhile. Then I try to pull off a senior banquet, get out a prayer letter and pack for camp.

I head off for 2 weeks of camp. This is where I meet up with 60 other staff. Five of which I live with in a "dorm" situation. Within 24 hours of arriving I meet 8 students that I will spend the next week helping them become "Good Small Group Leaders". I will do the same thing the 2nd week! Then we have all the staff relations and shenanigans . Which is quite fun and rewarding for an extrovert.

I always say being at Camp is like a glimpse into heaven. There is an ultimate focus on personal spiritual growth, there is an attitude of grace and service. Also If there is a "brokenness" then we have the opportunity to deal with it immediately and not let it fester like we tend to do in the world. There is always something going on! Three meals a day with 400 of your closest friends, quality worship every day, great teaching and interactions with growing believers. Limited temptations. God is good.

So why do I complain? Well it ends... I come home. The entire social crescendo ceases into quiet. Which I probably need after all the activity of January thru May. But it just seems so antithetical to the pace I had developed before camp.

So it takes me some time to re-coup. I try to do one active thing a day. I return to a normal routine of reading, study, pray and people (gradually). I begin to think about the study, alumni work and vacation that I put into the summer.

coffee

Well there used to be Coffee Stations at the Rockbridge Alum Springs Dining Hall. I liked them! When there was a need you just walked over with cup in hand pulled a lever and you had instant fresh coffee (wait not 'Instant Coffee', as in Taster's Choice, but roasted coffee quickly). Sometimes a line would form but that would just allow you to build community with the other coffee folk.

This Spring the kitchen staff took the coffee stations away! I was shocked at first! WHY? Who did this? I couldn't believe it. What would we do now?

In a casual conversation with some of the kitchen staff I found out. Once again Young Life is the winner!

"So, hey Why'd you take the Coffee Stations away?"

"When High School kids came to camp, we want them to have an EXCELLENT resort experience! We just started to think that, Is it really serving High Schoolers if we have them standing in line to get a cup of Coffee? Why don't we bring the coffee to them, literally serve them with Carafes of Coffee. We'll wait on them. When does anyone in our society honor High Schoolers by serving them?"

"You are kidding?"

"No, we realized that so many High Schoolers were waiting in line for a cup of coffee, for almost a third of the meal. If we brought coffee to them then it would give their leaders that much more time to hang out with them and deepen their relationship with them, to share Christ with them!"

Plus incarnationally if Christ came to serve and to give His life away as a ransom for many can't we do the same with a pot of coffee?

How to connect with God!

One of the things my job affords me the luxury of is spending 2 weeks at a retreat facility (Young Life's Rockbridge Alum Springs, in Western Virginia).  Now in earnest this is WORK! It really is. This week I am spending time training Small Group Leaders for next year's InterVarsity Chapters.  I have 4 students from University of Richmond (incl 2 who will be leading in their sororities) 2 from Chapel Hill and 2 from Univ of Mary Washington.  I also spoke last night on the "Nuts and Bolts of Launching a Small Group" to the entire Small Group Leaders Tract.

But when I am not working so hard, I have the opportunity to spend time with God, evaluate the Lord's work in my life over the past year and do a little vision-casting for next year. There is something about being away, out of the normal day-to-day, out of Williamsburg to see the peaks and valleys of God's work in my life and on campus.

So just today I was able to read scripture - Jonah is the book of choice for SGLs this year - and begin to have my eyes opened to my sin. (YUCK!) I was dealing with the little things that I get angry about and also my general rebellion against those pet-peeves I have.  I was beginning to realize my anger is linked to things I can't control and my rebellion is linked to the things I can control.  In terms of control it's when something is getting to be 'old hat' that I either get way too prideful or get way too rebellious.  My rebellion is because I think I can do a better job at running things than someone else or God.  So I try to make a statement based on what I want! 

Jonah did this same thing.  He didn't want to preach to the Ninevites - even though he was probably good at it.  He wanted to rest under the shade and sulk. BUT GOD - provided the city of Nineveh, He provided the Gourd and the Leaf for Shade, He provided the Worm to eat the Gourd and kill the Shade. Jonah thought he was in control yet he was just dependent on what God was doing!

Why don't I get that? I know God is sovereign. I know He directs my path.  I know He has my best interest in mind. Yet I still want to be angry and rebel. 

For Jonah his dependence on God improved as his connections with God improved.  

Partnership in the Gospel

as I sit in my usual place in the Daily Grind, waiting for the next student to come in... I am observing the room and I see 2 tables occupied by 4 Greek Impact (GI) students. This isn't all that unusual, but I am particularly touched today because of the partnership we share in the Gospel.

You see, as I am about to talk about the next issue of going on in the faith with the student in a minute; one of these tables is occupied by 2 sorority women. I know that this conversation is significant because the GI leader has been praying for an opportunity to tell the other student "her God-story". it is happening before my eyes! Because of the 'Foolishness of the Gospel' there is no reason that the listener should be interested, but because of the Holy Spirit's work in her life and her particular circumstances - all of a sudden there is a huge spiritual interest. Who knows what the result of this casual coffee time will be.

The other table is occupied by 3 GI students. One of them is teaching the other 2 to lead Bible Studies in their sororities. I can overhear part of this discussion as the leader is sharing Inductive Bible Study principles and they are each working off of a page from BibleGateway.com. "Questions need to be made so that the people in the group will look into the text for the answer and they shouldn't be YES or NO type questions." WOW! I can't wait to see how these women will begin to increase the ministry by leading in each of their sororities. But also how they will develop as leaders by starting these groups!

What an amazing partnership that is going on: Me in my one-on-one discipling, the evangelistic discussion at table 1 and the Bible Study training at table 2, What can I say?

Ya gotta love these guys!

The class of 1998 was an amazing class for me. There were a huge amount of Christian men in the InterVarsity Chapter. Many of these guys I met with weekly. Some of them were in a discipling group - that is a group that came together to begin to live out 2 Timothy 2:2 on campus ("Things you have heard me say, entrust to reliable people who in turn can teach others.").

As senior year rolled around these guys began to think about what it would mean to continue to grow together as brothers in Christ. Would they stay connected through an email listserve? They do, by the way, and it has been active for over 10 years. Would they just plan on meeting up annually for a vacation or mission trip? They still do that too. Or possibly should they be intentional enough to choose to move together to a location so that they could live in community and encourage each other in Christ. Well that is what happened! Not all of them of course, but a number of them moved to Houston and began to work for Teach For America (TFA) in a couple inner-city schools. Some moved to NOVA, some Massachusetts, NJ, Colorado, Romania etc. But they have remained close and challenging to each other all of this time.

TFA led the Houston boys to a Charter School system named YES Prep. They have worked hard in this system. And have accomplished many things. Some teach, some train new teachers, some work in the administration such as recruitment and development. But their vision for the kids in Houston is stellar. And their faith and commitment to each other has gotten some recognition! Houston School District has just chosen YES Prep Charter Schools as the # 1 school in the District! (see link & video above).

I am very proud of these guys and how they have chosen to live faithfully for the Kingdom of God in the midst of a broken & perverse generation!

Foolishness in April

Carolyn was (is) the April Fool-er in our family. She is the one who would be awake and move through the house early in the morning on April 1st wrecking havoc wherever she went. It might start with me. Usually it would be about some overnite equipment or appliance failure. "Marty, wake up! The Dishwasher overflowed all over the kitchen last night!" or "There is no hot water in the house!" Or "That big oak tree fell across the driveway and we can't get our cars out!" I would leap to my feet already to put my best problem-solving techniques to work, until I would catch a glimpse of Carolyn snickering in the corner!

Then she would move to Tripp's room (me close behind, just to watch her get another victim) and she would say: "Tripp, time to get up --- OH MY GOSH, look at that SPIDER climbing on the wall there! (Tripp is very afraid of spiders - by the way)" He would leap into the air and out of bed - with Carolyn laughing hysterically! Then the 3 of us would creep into Bobby's room, and watch the master at work once again: "Bobby, did you forget to turn the washer on last night, I think your clothes are still dirty?" Once again the victim would leap to attention while the torturer and previous victims would be rolling on the floor in pure hilarity! April Fools day had arrived at our house once again.

God had to have the same type of humor himself. Just think of the Tower of Babel. People from all over the world coming together, speaking the same language, trying to get to God - on their own strength. With one swoosh of his Word all peoples began to speak in many languages so that no one could understand the other.

Then there is poor Samuel, a small voice calls "Samuel, Samuel". Samuel trudges down to Eli's room and says "Yes Eli, I am here!" Eli says, "Go to bed boy, I didn't call you." Three times this same thing occurs. Finally Eli says: It's not me, boy - it's probably God, next time ask Him what he wants." Then there was Enoch who was walking with men one minute and then walking with God the next! God has a huge sense of humor all through the Bible.

Then in 1 Corinthians 1:18-31, Paul writes about God & Foolishness. God's foolishness in wiser than all of man's wisdom put together! The folly is in the fact that even since the Tower of Babel man continues to try to get to God on his own. And God must just laugh!

But God has (at least) one more act of foolishness. He allows one man (His Son Jesus Christ) to die in humiliation. On a cross, a death of a common criminal. so that all of us who ask for mercy & forgiveness from Him shall walk with Him for eternity.

This Gospel message is just foolishness!

Get your Easter Shopping done early!

I heard a great story tonight!

A senior was telling her God-story. This was a woman who had been to church all of her young life. It was just what her family did. Then after coming to college she just began to hang out with people who were a bad influence in her life and she began to do things that took her in a direction away from the faith that she grew up with.

It was in her senior year, over Christmas break, that 2 things happened. First she began to read a book called _Lord, Teach me to Pray_. From this book she discovered that faith was not religious activity but it was a relationship. She realized her life had been going away from God, she wanted that to change. Second, she remembered a friend from class who told her about Greek Impact, a Christian Fellowship on campus that helped fraternity & sorority students grow in their faith and learn about God. When she returned after Christmas she talked to her friend and began going to Greek Impact. She has discovered a community and a fellowship that helps her deepen her relationship with God. She has stopped the activities that distracted her from Jesus Christ and has placed Him at the center of her life.

ah yes! the International Service Project!

So many students from W&M(& other schools) took the opportunity of Spring Break to do an International Service Project (or some may call it Alternative Spring Break). A chance to see the world and serve the less fortunate. Students went to Nicaragua, Dominican Republic, Haiti among others. They either did work with orphans, building houses or building camping facilities. They had a true cross-cultural experience, both in nationality & socio-economics.

Let's think about the progression of this. When I first came to W&M as a Campus Minister. It seemed like the whole campus went on the typical "Spring Break Blowout" event. College students flooded Daytona, Ft. Lauderdale, Destin, South Padre Island, and on and on. It was seen as an opportunity to go crazy for 1 week for 4 years that you would never have back. MTV in the early nineties would literally move to So. Florida to capture the antics of millions of students. It was legend!

Sometime in the late 90's the trends changed, the Wild & Crazy Beach Scene was not as popular. Part of this was because local law enforcement increased its activity. But part was because the desire to serve and help others began to increase.

InterVarsity@W&M began to do service projects in the early 90's. At first we went to do hurricane relief with Habitat for Humanity in South Carolina, then eventually we went to Urban Promise in Camden, NJ to work with inner city children & adolescents. When we started in Camden we were the only organization to work with Urban Promise, now each week we are joined by dozens of students from UVA, JMU, U. Maryland, etc. During this time (10 or so years ago) there seemed to be a larger effort to do domestic service. Appalachia, Hurricane Relief (Fla, SC, LA, Miss.), Urban work (Greensboro, Richmond, Philadelphia, Camden, NY, etc).

But lately it seems like the effort has been placed on international work. Of course mostly Caribbean, Latin, central & south American countries.

What are the gains:
1) Cross-cultural experience, new language, new country & a broader global experience.
2) Bigger understanding of USA in the world environment
3) Going South is still popular
4) Seeing poverty at an even more dire circumstance.

What are the losses:
1) Do we really make a difference?
2) Is it good economics? Would it make a bigger impact to just send money?
3) Can we really have political influence?
4) What influence can we have?

Finally: I have 2 thoughts, As we experience more of the world, through travels, reading and relationships I hope that we are beginning to create ways to speak the truth of the Gospel into our localities as well as into the world. All of this service must be translated to Christ's work in our community as well as in the world.

also, as we 'wash the feet' of our brothers & sisters we have got to begin to see it as a broader understanding of what God is about. Tony Campolo once said: "Is my heart broken for the things that break God's heart?" We can't leave Nicaragua saying, "We went down there to serve them, and they served us." unless we are preparing ourselves to serve those in our community today.

Leadership Part 3

Timeless Leadership: A Conversation with David McCullough, an article in the Harvard Business Review.

The author of books including _John Adams_, _1776_, _Truman_, among many others conducted an interview with the editors of HBR (march 2008). It was a fascinating analysis of leadership from an historical basis. McCullough began with a plea: "We need leaders and not just political leaders. We need leaders in every field, in every institution, in all kinds of situations. We need to be educating our young people to be leaders and unfortunately that's fallen out of fashion."

McCullough talked about how leadership requires a unique combination of talents acquired through a set of learned experiences in line with a certain amount of unique talents. For instance, George Washington, had an incredible ability to spot talent even in places where it wasn't obvious. He also was able to let his leaders do their jobs with freedom and he was not afraid to let them fail and it is through the failure that he was able to assess their leadership and strength.

One of the key talents today has to do with the leader having real strength and talent in the arena of listening. Listening beneath the surface. To hear what they aren't saying as well as what they are saying. Knowing how to ask questions. Knowing how to direct the topics to see the deeper and more significant thoughts and actions of the leader or potential leader.

I work with people who have some of the greatest potential for leadership today. I love it! I get to see fledgling efforts. I also see weak initiative, even in the midst of strong potential. (I hate that!)

I overheard a conversation a couple weeks ago between a senior and a Teach For America Representative which gave me great concern. It was obvious this student had great leadership potential. She carried herself well. She had held a number of significant leadership positions on campus. She was well recommended by her professors and peers. It was obvious that she was seriously interested in TFA as a career. When pushed by the recruiter to fill out the application and move onto the next interview, she resisted. When asked by the recruiter, why she wouldn't apply, her answer was (and I'm not joking about this), "I am afraid that I would apply, go for the interview and then be rejected or not placed." I could not believe that someone who seemingly was the right fit in every discernible way would not risk failure by filling out an app!

I have great concern for a certain type of person who fails to risk for the sake of a 'possible' failure. I know many of these folks have never failed at anything. but we know logically that failure will come. In time a level of failure will be apparent. It happens to all of us.

I know for myself that it is only in my weakness that His strength is made obvious. I know this is a paradigm shift, from the lone woman (faith unknown)who chose to not risk. But in all of God's sovereignty His strength is made perfect in weakness.

Leadership 2

I just finished directing a break-out on Leadership for the Greensboro Greek Conference. Forty eight fraternity and sorority students from all over the Eastern Seaboard attended the Leadership class.

So what is the primary lesson to come out of this program: Servant Leadership! In John 13, we studied Jesus washing the feet of the disciples. This had fascinating applications for our group.

Remember when Jesus selected his disciples. The Gospel of Mark says He chose 12 that they might be with Him. It seems like this 'withness' is Jesus' primary value. When we look at His choices - there is no apparent reason for their liklihood of being together. Several fisherman, a tax-collector, a political zealot among others. At best this august group was a random conglomeration of worldviews, occupations, lifestyles etc. Not necessarily a group we would select to lead a ministry or a cause or an organization. But this is who Jesus chose.

So back to John 13, when Jesus is planning on leaving He provides His final training, by washing their feet. The job reserved for the lowliest servant in the household. The act of course symbolizes humility & serving and maybe even brokenness.

In the Leadership Breakout, we discussed Jesus humility and talked about - that the world's emphasis on leadership is getting position and power, butthe Kingdom of God is based on service & humility.

Somehow in God's economy this equals out to true leadership. Putting others ahead of yourself builds camraderie & trust. Humbling yourself before those you ar 'leading' builds trust & relaibility. 'Washing someones feet' allows them to see how far down you are willing to go to lift them up.

even in seminary...

I have a friend, a 3rd year seminary student, who is writing a paper on "why people love the Bible." She is doing this through a Facebook message (and a series of replies). The responses have come from a wide range of people at various levels of academic and missional experience. Yet the answers are so similar.

I know the nature of the question leads us to a more emotional response. But almost everyone talks about how the Bible is a guide, an inspiration, it sets this backward world straight, it reminds us of God's love.

I guess I was prepared for more intellectual parlay - or - more anecdotal references. But the Bible according to my friend's friends is designed to Help me! To get me by, to direct by path. To help me avoid sin.

In truth can it really do that?

If so it must have a higher value than just the words on the page. It must function in the divine as well as the earthly. There has got to be a supernatural component to the Scriptures.

As for me: The Bible functions as the way to see a more clear picture of my Lord. Each day and each time I pick it up I see a deeper glimpse of Jesus. And I can hear His voice in my heart.

Leadership...

There is a lot about leadership lately. Fidel Castro resigns, leading Cuba into oppression for 50 years. The charisma of Barak Obama who leads by confidence and personality. Hillary Clinton who leads by knowledge and experience. Gene Nichol who attracts thousands of students yet alienates hundreds of alumni and state leaders.

So what is leadership anyway? Who gets it? How do you keep it? Can it be measured? What are the God-given components of leadership?

From the scripture it seems like leadership is founded in 'The last must be first.' Jesus, Himself a leader who led uncompromisingly, led by serving - "I have come to seek and to save the lost." When David, one of God's mighty men, decided to 'count' his greatness, God put his leadership on hold.

Then just to prove where power and leadership come from in Daniel. This one is thrown at us: "The decision is announced by messengers, the holy ones declare the verdict, so that the living may know that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes and sets over them the lowliest of men." Daniel 4:17. God is the one who is sovereign! God is the one who disburses power and authority. He disburses it to WHOMEVER He wishes!

Do we get that? Do we understand that Power either worldly or Godly is not based on my placement, family heritage, wisdom, politics or whatever. It is based completely on what God decides!

Who's reading the Bible?

Just a couple things:

First in terms of that thing called a quiet time, it seems to me that there are fewer and fewer people who are making this a priority. Why is that? I think that in "our" new focus on Grace over Legalism; a movement that we have seen increase dramatically over the last couple years. Now, it is a focus that I completely agree with. But we have taken our liberty to remove habits that really help develop our relationship with God.

Second, If I am free from the time responsibility of Bible reading, then how can I develop my relationship with God? A relationship doesn't just develop by itself. It takes an effort, a commitment of time.

Third, there is a possibility that eventhough it looks legalistic I believe the most effective way to develop this relationship will take a consistent pattern of reading the source that reveals the most accurate picture and relational dealings of our Lord. In other words if we read the Bible systematically over a long period of time our knowledge of Jesus and our understanding of God will grow.

So What is Discipling anyway?

The Questions come: "I've never been discipled so how can I disciple someone?"

Well I am sorry that no one ever took the time to begin to meet with you, to encourage you to develop your spiritual life. I believe it is a crucial way to get a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ, to build unity between brothers and sisters in the faith of Christ-followers, to develop a bolder community to reach the world. But this is becoming a lost art that I believe MUST be reversed starting today! Really, there is no excuse for us who identify ourselves as Christ-followers to not begin to take responsibility for those who are younger than us. Even if it is not an element that we have experienced.

I am gonna give you some homework and then make an offer and let's begin to reverse the trend...

Homework:

Within a reasonable amount of time (1-3 hours) develop a list of topics / concepts / ideas that YOU are convinced are essential for someone who is identifying herself / himself as a Christ-Follower. After a day or so go back over the list and tweak your list. As a guideline think about 10 topics...

The Offer: If you are willing to take on this challenge, I will talk you through the next steps in beginning to be a Barnabas in someone's life just make a comment or send me an email. ( marty_purks@ivstaff.org )

Time for God?

Could it be that not having enough time to read the Bible and spend time with God because of all of the things we have to do is a good enough reason to not do it?

What do I mean? Am I saying that because of how gracious He is and also because some of us have been "in the Faith" a very long time that there is no longer a need to intentionally read the Bible or spend a concentrated time talking to Him? It seems like that could be a disease that many of us have caught.

We ARE very busy aren't we? It is a sign of our culture. It is a form of greeting that we give each other. "I am so busy!", "I've got so much to do; I am so stressed!" I can't believe the work I have to do. I'm at least a week behind." So when we work up our daily task list we put everything in its place. We prioritize the most important things first. We make sure we put at the top those things we can't ignore. That paper with the deadline; or the contract that must be signed and researched. The potential property that must be built. All these things scream "ME FIRST!" And we believe that is what really matters.

On the other hand... God is not clamoring to be at the top of the list. In fact, because of our experience with Bible Reading and Prayer we feel like he doesn't even need to be near the top. After all we will be able to catch up with that stuff after the important things are done. We know that God will understand. And also, because of that transformation / Holy Spirit thing - I believe God will give me what I need when I need it even if I am not prepared. Thank you Lord for meeting me where I am.

Wait, Wait, Wait!!! No, this is not a relationship! This is some kind of Convenience Store. that's right a spiritual convenience store. When we don't have time to do the real shopping or real preparation, we rely on the WAWA to get the essentials. That is how we are approaching our relationship with God. But it is a relationship. As in any relationship it takes time, effort, time, focus, time, creativity. It would be absurd if I thought that my relationship with Carolyn, in the early days would progress by just spending 7 minutes a week with her. It took hours. And it was hours that I wanted to spend with her. And you know what it still takes hours - 30 years later!

So it is with the Lord, I want to spend time with Him. I get to spend time with Him. And magically as I spend time with God - I know Him better. I can hear His voice better.

It's not about being legalistic, it's about a relationship

The S Word, by Mac Richard

Mac Richard, The S-word

It’s really funny, over the course of my ministry, how many times I have had prospective brides sit in my office with their fiancées for pre-marital counseling and say something like this:


Just to need to establish some ground rules and make sure that nowhere in the ceremony does the word submit or obey rear its ugly head, okay? Thank you. Now let’s begin.



And I understand where that comes from. I understand the pushback to the S-word. When we think the S-word, we usually think doormat, rollover, taken advantage of. But that pushback betrays a gross misunderstanding of biblical submission.


First of all, we need to understand that Biblical submission is not limited to women. It’s not. The bible does say, “Wives, submit to your husbands,” in Ephesians 5:22. But what men have eliminated for centuries is the verse that goes immediately before this. Look at what it says. In Ephesians 5:21, the first part of the verse says, “Submit to one another.”


Isn’t it funny that men who predominantly have been preachers and teachers and priests have said, “Wives submit to your husbands. This is the will of the Lord for thy life.” But many times they have omitted this part that says, “Submit to one another.”


You see, in God’s economy, relationship works because people submit to each other. No matter the relationship, whatever it may be. God says in Philippians 2, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” Whatever relationship you’re in, it will work better if both parties submit to each other.


Submission is the ultimate question between God and a person. See, we like to talk about grace, and forgiveness, love, and blessing. And those things are all there. But they’re only found in true submission. Male or female, husband or wife, married or single. Undecided. Submission to God. Your life submitted to Him, and in that, receiving His life submitted for you.


You see, Jesus not only calls us to this, he models this. On the night that He was betrayed, the Bible says that Jesus was praying in such anguish knowing what was to come that drops of blood formed on His forehead. Now this was before the crown of thorns was placed there. So this was how stressed and anguished He was. And he said, “God, if there’s any way for this cup to pass from me, for me to avoid the cross and the physical anguish, the spiritual death and separation from you, please I don’t want to do this. But not my will, but you will be done.”


That’s what Jesus did: submitting himself completely to and through the point of death for you and for me. Now, submission to someone who loves you that deeply, that unconditionally, that perfectly, is submitting to your own best interest. That is the miracle of unconditional love: It works because it is complete. There is no need for keeping score, for demands of more time, attention or affection. Submission works.



Posted by MacRichard on July 11, 2006 at 10:01 AM